Thursday, July 1, 2010

Marriage preparation counselling




So, we went for our first appointment with Care Corner Counselling Centre (CCCC) today, situated somewhere in Toa Payoh, it's a pre marrital counselling with christian teaching(optional).
5 session of 1.5 hours and cost us $250, you can choose btw individual or gp counselling. Topics include:
  1. Knowing myself, my partner and my relationship
  2. Building positive interaction- the key to a good relationship
  3. Nurturing friendship and intimacy
  4. Taking care and taking charge of myself

So at our first session, we had to do the Tailor-Johnson Temperament Analysis, you have to ans 180 questions in 1.5 hours, ans the questions twice, the first time to find out your own personality and the same question repeated to assess how u rate your partner. This is done to measure the 9 common personality traits:

  1. Nervous- Composed
  2. Depressed- lighthearted
  3. Active, social- quiet
  4. Expressive, responsive- inhibited
  5. Sympathetic- indifferent
  6. Subjective- objective
  7. Dominant- submissive
  8. Hostile- tolerant
  9. Self disipline- implusive
Abby's traits:
  1. Composed
  2. Lighthearted
  3. Quiet
  4. Inhibited
  5. Sympathetic
  6. Objective
  7. Dominant
  8. Hostile
  9. Self disipline

Roy's traits:

  1. Nervous
  2. Lighthearted
  3. Active, social
  4. Expressive, responsive
  5. Very sympathetic
  6. Objective
  7. Very dominant
  8. Tolerant
  9. Impulsive

So, if i remembered correctly, these are the results from the test and we have 5 different traits that are opposite. At first, i thought so what if we were different, we are still ok so far, no major disagreements and nth that we cannot handle. Untill the Pastor gave us examples, like if the htb loves being ard pple and i, being more inhibited, quiet and hostile, this could be a prob in the future, he prefers gg out while i prefer stayin at home. smt like that la... and if i was too quiet/ inhibited/ not expressive and not tell the htb how i felt, unplesant feelings could be bottled up too long.

Oh ya, one of the many take home points was that when times are good and easy, try to store up good deeds and good feelings, try to do more nice things for your partner. Bcos it's easier to forgive a persons if he has done many good things for u in the past. So when times are trying and more stressed, like when u have some money problems or stressed up with your first child, and smt goes wrong, it's easier to look past your partner's mistake bcos u remember what he has done well in the past... smt like that la... :)

Cheers u guys..